We’ve all heard it – “It’s time for you”, “Take care of you”, “Wellbeing starts from within”. And then we go for a massage or a manicure and expect everything to change as a result.
All of these things are wonderful to contribute to a better state of health and wellbeing – but alone they are not enough. So often people imagine this is what self-care looks like. And it does, but only for a time. Because if you don’t take a closer look at what’s going on inside, in your mind then it really is just a quick fix.
You have to start somewhere though, right? Correct.
Self-care is a real buzz word right now but the word on its own is really just a word (or 2, depending on the use of hyphens, hey I’m being a bit picky, that’s the author in me) if no action is taken.
What you think of you, how you feel about you and how you talk to yourself is a great place to start. If you don’t pay more attention to this on your journey of self-care, it will be a real battle to ever feel the benefits of any number of massages and spa treatments – or anything else that you might do in the name of wellbeing.
Pause for a moment and ponder what you do in the course of a day that is for your own benefit. How you start your day, what you eat and drink, who you mix and mingle with – these are all fundamental elements of taking better care of yourself. And as you are reading this, maybe you will find that you don’t pay much attention to one or any of them at all.
Does any of this mention pedicures or trips to the hairdresser? No, it doesn’t.
Having said that, I think there are many of us who feel like a trip to the hairdresser is a form of therapy – and it can be so good for us, to visit someone who isn’t involved or attached to our lives personally, isn’t invested in what happens to us (apart from as paying customers). To be able to offload, share moments of insecurity we might otherwise keep to ourselves, and then go about our business. Which is why I am saying that these things all contribute to better self-care, but they are not the answer on their own.
When I think back, my journey of self-care started when I joined a gym, I signed up for a year back in 2011 – I made it easily accessible, so I couldn’t make excuses to myself about why I couldn’t go that day. It was a huge deal for me, and really kickstarted my physical wellbeing activities – shortly after I took up martial arts for quite a time too, and thoroughly enjoyed the release it gave me.
It was not long after that I introduced a skincare routine as a regular ‘treat’ to myself. Now I am a few years down the line, I realise it wasn’t about having a treat, it was about doing something that was for me and made me feel good. Because taking care of yourself does feel really good when you start to invest a little of you in it – your self worth improves because you are telling yourself the story that you matter and your wellbeing matters.
At the time my whole life was actually a complete mess – but hey at least my skin looked good!
Piece by piece the jigsaw puzzles found their way together, I really began to feel like I was worth this time, I made time to do these things because I needed something I wasn’t finding in my head. Until eventually I found that too – after much work on my personal boundaries (click here to read a blog about those), inner beliefs and my foundational work which changed everything from the inside out.
And these days I spend less on my skincare but I am still committed to it – shakes hair – because I’m worth it!
If any of this resonated and you’d like to spend a little time discovering what taking care of you might look like, book a clarity call with me to take those all important first steps.
You’re worth it too!