How do you know if you’re a people-pleaser? Ever wondered if you are but not sure what ONE thing would make it clear to you? See if you resonate with the following:
- You drop everything without a second thought when a friend in need calls on you for help. Even though what you’re doing is actually really important to you. I.E you prioritise the needs of others over your own.
- You ‘morph’ into being like the people you’re hanging out with, and this changes depending who it is. Which means you struggle to recognise or understand who you actually are. I.E you feel so uncertain of your sense of ‘self’ that you find it easier to blend into the surroundings/environment instead.
- You continually over-commit, without considering if you’ve actually got the energy/time/finances to support what you’ve said yes to. All because someone told you it was an unmissable opportunity. I.E you don’t consider if you have the resources to sustain the commitment.
- Saying no feels way too hard, it’s much easier to just say yes and not have to deal with the awkwardness of your perceived ‘rejection’. I.E you say yes to others because it feels like saying no means you’re selfish.
- You don’t really know what your own personal boundaries are, so you don’t have any. I.E you’re making it up as you go along to keep folk happy, but make yourself extremely unhappy in the process.
OUCH! That hurt, didn’t it?
As a self-confessed recovering people pleaser myself, it’s taken me quite some time to fully recognise this. Who I am is worth so much more, and I need to stop giving the magic of who I am away to those who don’t value it.
By recognising that just being myself is enough, it gives me the capacity to choose. From so many more options. I want that for you, too.
It all begins with getting to know yourself better through the lens of Quantum Human Design™. Clarity breeds self-acceptance… exciting, right?
But why does it matter if you’re a people-pleaser?
Once upon a time, I ran myself into the ground ‘trying’ to be all the things to all the people. In reality I was serving no one well. I finally began to recognise that keeping up with what others had known to expect from me, meant that I never met my own needs. That sucked!
One last time I heard ‘can you just do me a favour’… and I thought NOPE. Not this time. My whole body responded – thank God I listened.
If I said yes, I realised I would be sacrificing myself. I’d become so unwell, not to mention being resentful and bitter. It seemed no matter what I did, there was always more needed. I had NOTHING left to give, in this instance. Watch ‘my people pleasing story‘ to learn how it evolved for me.
The thing is, when you drop everything to do a good turn, help a friend out, make someone else happy, you’re secretly hoping this will be recognised and returned.
You’re seeking a satisfying boost of energy to fill your cup as the sweet, warm kind-hearted person you are who always stops whatever you’re doing to please others.
There is good in the world and you’re contributing to it, big time. Keep showing up!
TO talk more about your people-pleasing habits, why not book a call with me and let’s explore it together.