Support yourself – so easy, you say. But in truth this can feel a little difficult. We can become resentful – why can’t other people support us?
Truthfully, if we don’t find ways to support ourselves, we become unable to express what it is we need to be supported. If we can’t explain what it is that we feel we need to BE supported, we won’t find the things that help us find that support.
It’s about taking responsibility for seeking what it is we truly need, instead of expecting others to take charge of it for us. Otherwise you just won’t feel like you’re worth that time and investing that energy in yourself.
It’s a bit like looking for love. We can often think that finding love is about finding ‘the one’ and just doing the things that get us to the place where we find our magical person, such as going on dating sites, setting up the profile of who we want them to see, but the honest truth is that it’s actually all about ourselves, our sense of self worth and our sense of self love.
If we can’t learn to love ourselves to who we are, then we’re never going to believe that we’re actually worthy of being loved by Mr or Mrs. Right.
I’m here to gently encourage you to find ways to do things that support you that are easy. We might be talking about doing something that means you know you’re going to be looked after. So maybe supporting yourself is making creating a space for you, that gives you a little bit of a breather from some of the things that are draining you – maybe people that are draining you or exhausting you. Maybe supporting yourself isn’t physically like holding yourself up. Maybe supporting yourself is actually giving yourself a little bit of a breather from things that aren’t supporting you.
By seeing what isn’t working and taking some of the focus away from that, we can actually learn to be more supportive of us, of who we are and what we need. When you think about supporting yourself, you might just feel as I say, like why has it got to be me all the time. It’s so unfair. But in taking responsibility for giving yourself this support and this space where you feel like you’re supported, it just shifts the focus from making everybody else accountable for you and what you have in your life.
Often in life, we can feel a little bit like it’s not fair that we have to do everything. But if we don’t find a way to just step into that role a little bit and take responsibility for our own needs and what they are and what they look like – If we don’t know what they look like then how can we expect anybody else to be able to help support us? So it’s about getting clear on what does supporting you look like? Is it having a steady income? Is it having a home that helps you to feel as though you’ve got your shit together?
Is supporting yourself having a good routine? Having a routine for your fitness, having a good mealtime routine, having a bedtime routine? Does that support you?
What would supporting you look like? How do you expect to find support? What would make you feel supported? There’s something for you to explore.